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The Real Reasons Men Commit: Why He Will - or Won't - Love, Honor and Marry You, by Joel D Block, Kimberly Dawn Neumann
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I need my space. We need to slow down. I?m just not ready to settle down yet.
Single women have heard all these excuses and more from the men in their lives. And with a growing number of people choosing not to marry at all, women who do want to get married are increasingly frustrated by men who, in the end, refuse to make that commitment. In this book, women will learn: how men really view commitment; what factors influence their decision to commit; the difference between cold feet and an intractable single-forever stance; which men are most likely to go the distance; strategies to persuade commitment-phobic men to take the chance on love and marriage; and more. With this book, women looking for commitment from their men can push them off the fence - and into the wedding chapel. Or, if they?re found wanting, simply cut them loose with that other famous line: Maybe we should see other people.
- Sales Rank: #1321462 in Books
- Published on: 2008-12-01
- Format: Bargain Price
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.44" h x .55" w x 5.50" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
About the Author
Joel D. Block, Ph.D. (Melville, NY), is an award-winning psychologist who knows the male psyche - not just his; he talks to men all the time. Even more important, he specializes in dealing with relationships in his very active practice and he answers dozens of e-mails about the issue of commitment nearly every week.
Kimberly Dawn Neumann (New York, NY) is a popular New York City?based dating/sex/relationship writer who has also worked extensively in the theater (making her privy to more than a little relationship drama). Her work has appeared in such publications as Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, Maxim, and more. She and her friends have been in the trenches; some have found true love, others are still looking.
Most helpful customer reviews
35 of 37 people found the following review helpful.
Save your time and money
By Avid Reader
I found this book to be frustratingly repetitious and offensively simplistic. It reads like a Cosmo article, (which is actually quotes stats from) and should be taken about as seriously as one. I guess the fact that Mario Lopez is one of the endorsers of the book should have been a clue... Here's how "smart" they think the average reader is...if on a first date a guy states that one loses sense of self and independence when in a relationship, he's probably not commitment minded (um, duh?). I'm very disappointed that this book was co-authored by a Ph.D. level therapist given it's bubblegum style, use of poorly referenced and meaningless stats, as well as it's lacking (sometimes inaccurate) description of mental health issues. Point in case, those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (many individuals with NPD are VERY good lovers because they want to avoid criticism, and because they want to live up to their grandiose image, they are often people pleasers to gain the admiration and praise they crave). After reading about how sex is just sex to men for the 100th time and the phrase "your man" for the 1000th time, I was about ready to call it quits with this book...did I mention how repetitious it is? I was also annoyed at the case studies presented...though they were supposed to be from the perspective of individuals, they were all written in the same style and language which busted any credibility and seemed fabricated only to prove a point (often a pointless point at that! lol) Katie did what we said and got married in two months! Sarah did not follow our advice, and she lost her man and was heartbroken...I'm paraphrasing but the point is the advice and scenarios were way too cut and dry. In addition, if you are actually hoping to learn "the real reasons men commit", you are not going to find any easy answers in this book. In addition to not living up to the title, the authors spent WAY too much time writing about co-habitation and married men. Some of the material seemed tangential as if the authors liked it but since it was off topic, they just shoved it in anywhere they could fit it. For example, there is a whole chapter about women who are avoiding commitment...um, useful? maybe, but the book is supposed to be about the real reasons men commitment, not why some women don't commit. To summarize, this book could have been condensed into a ten page essay and gives men and women the value of characters on Sex in the City. Okay, to be fair, it has a few good points (like actions speak louder than words...original, huh?) but having to sift through the filler to find them is not worth it. If you are looking for help with your next relationship, The Real Reasons Men Commit doesn't live up to its name and will likely leave a sour taste in your mouth for the male species. After all, 99% of them are just out to manipulate you and use you for sex! For something more humanistic, realistic, and more applicable to us normal people, try Why Men Won't Commit by Weinberg (it's not perfect, but I found it much more compassionate and balanced).
8 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Amazing!
By Elzbieta J. Kot
This book was recommended to me after my failed engagement, by my friend whom just had a divorce. She told me it would change my life, and it did. As I was reading the chapters, every example was a man I've known or dated or considered dating. Obviously those relationships didn't work out because of the commitment issues these men had. I love that the book is written both in the male and woman's' perspective. I recommend this book for all women to shed some light on what these men are thinking!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
banal
By Maria A-H
This book was rather good, but the most things written in it seemed banal and commonplace. I haven't discovered anything new reading it. It has all been written before by other authors.
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